Defuse the causes of anger. Learn the difference between healthy anger and how it can protect you and inappropriate anger, how it damages you and how to let go of it.
Anger is a protective mechanism, an essential part of your deeply embedded unconscious tool kit. If we never got angry, were never willing to defend ourselves and never willing to let people know that we were prepared to defend ourselves, then we would simply no longer be here!
Unfortunately in our society, we have been taught that being angry is a ‘bad thing’. This is obviously very well meaning. Being taught how to share our toys without fighting when we were little, is a good thing. But being taught that we should never raise our voices, never object or never defend what we value or believe to be ours or believe to be our right, is a ‘Bad thing!’
We need to learn how to communicate in the most effective ways with other people and to set up the best possible ‘Win-Win’ situations. But at the end of the day, if others are not willing to cooperate, then it has to be “Win-Win or No deal!” Sometimes this may mean walking away from what we thought was a wonderful opportunity, but if it comes at too great a cost then we are better off to look elsewhere. Sometimes we cannot walk away easily or soon (Family, partner, neighbours, genuine friends or work situations) in which case we have to do ‘damage limitation’.
Very often we are angry when something has happened or when someone has offended us and it seems very difficult to let go of it. In these cases, the anger is often trying to get us to learn something important to prevent it happening again.
If something has happened to you or gone wrong, it may be that you did not pay attention to some warning signs. Maybe you did not check the situation carefully enough before getting into it. If someone offended you, maybe you did not give them sufficient warning that you expected a certain degree of respect from them, or maybe you were not paying sufficient attention to what they seemed they were about to do. Either way, once we realise what we could have done differently, the angry feelings often evaporate, leaving only a calm resolve to prevent anything similar in future.
I can tea you:
- How to be in control of your own mind, moods and emotions
- How to deal with negative emotions
- How to prevent, de-fuse and overcome stress
- How to detach from and rise above problems
- How to see things more calmly and objectively
- How and why your mind creates feelings and moods and what to do about it
- How to understand other people, why they do what they do
and why they are how they are and - How to see things from the other person’s point of view
and know how to put your own point of view across more effectively
and how to anticipate how they will respond to you - Seeing and setting up the best possible ‘Win-Win’ situation,
and the importance of ‘Win-Win or No Deal!’ - Why it is so important to be willing to be unreasonable
and how to be unreasonable without being unpleasant - Five ways to Feel Good
- How to feel resourceful within yourself
- The basis of confidence and
- How to motivate yourself.
Whatever the cause for being angry and whatever your background, so long as you are willing to be honest with yourself and learn from your mistakes, I can not only defuse you from what is currently making you angry, but make it so that you can deal with just about any situations calmly, confidently, assertively and yet also respectfully.
If this is what you feel you want or need, then feel free to call me on the number below.